[ Of all the ways that Lan Zhan had imagined that Wei Ying might find out about his crush, a texting thread stemming from his naked photography wasn't one of them. As he hurries to put on proper clothes, he stares at the photograph in question that's leaning against the back wall of his closet—facing away, of course, so that he isn't met with the blush-inducing image of Wei Ying's dick every single time he opens the closet. He realizes that he'll need to confess that he was the mysterious buyer, and such a thought worries him. Will Wei Ying rethink his feelings for Lan Zhan if he finds out that he is the unsavory patron? Will he be offended that Lan Zhan saw it as an opportunity to simultaneously help him financially and maintain his purity, his honor?
These are questions that haunt him on the drive to Wei Ying's place. At the forefront of his mind is the very new and sudden realization that his feelings are not completely one-sided. Wei Ying's thoughts on the matter are still uncertain, but Lan Zhan couldn't continue the conversation through text messages, or even over the phone. Something of his magnitude, this importance, deserves to be handled in person. Wei Ying is worth that much, at the very least—at the most, a far more romantic confession. Lan Zhan may not look it, but he is a romantic deep down in his heart. Even without plans to admit his feelings any time in the near future, he'd always pictured it happening somewhere with beautiful scenery, or shared memories, or anything better than standing statue-still in front of Wei Ying's door, hesitant to knock because he still hasn't found the words.
Wei Ying will have words enough for the both of them, as always. He needs to be confident of that, just as he should have been confident that Wei Ying would see through him to the truth in his heart eventually. Their conversation has filled him with hope, yes, but as he knocks on the door, he can't help but feeling the nervous fluttering of wings in his stomach. ]
[ It takes forever for Lan Wangji to arrive. (It doesn't, really; it just feels like forever.) This is good, as it gives Wei Wuxian time to pick up the junk from his couch and clear the coffee table and make it look like he is a somewhat civilized, conscientious person capable of staying organized. Although it doesn't really matter because Lan Wangji has seen his apartment a number of times, knows what he's like, and — still likes him somehow?
It doesn't take long to clean and that's the dangerous part. It gives him an opportunity to think, fidgeting impatiently as he waits for Lan Wangji's quiet, firm knock against his door. He chews on the side of his thumbnail until it's ragged, paces the length of his tiny living room and kitchen, pulls out the kettle and the tea he keeps specifically for Lan Wangji, puts both of them back, contemplates changing out of the loose black shirt and sweats he's wearing, all while a thousand thoughts fly through his head. Thoughts about Lan Wangji, and that comment about being lonely and awkward, and about how they're going to talk.
Wei Wuxian has never been at a loss for words, but when he hears that knock, his throat goes dry and he wavers for a moment. But neither is he a coward, and this is Lan Wangji, who is too important and too kind to leave waiting, stewing in his own thoughts. So he clears his throat and yanks open the door — he hadn't been standing in front of it, except he totally had — and waves Lan Wangji inside. This is a discussion too meaningful to have at the door. ]
Lan Zhan. [ For a second he doesn't know what to say, where to even begin, and he starts off by remembering his manners for once. ] Come in. Can I get you something to drink? I still have some tea, it won't take long to boil water, or maybe just some water?
[ After the eternity it had taken for him to arrive, it feels like Wei Ying opens the door barely a second after he knocks. He's beautiful, as always, with a radiance that shines out of him whether he's wearing sweatpants with holes at the seams or a three-piece suit—not that Lan Zhan has ever seen him wearing one, but he does have some imagination despite what many think of him. It is an imagination that has done him a disservice, at times, when he has lost himself to thoughts of what could never be between him and Wei Ying.
Well, that's what he used to think, at least.
Nodding a silent greeting, he steps inside until there is space for Wei Ying to close the door behind him. It is a meaningful discussion indeed, and he's relieved to not be left standing on the threshold. That must be a good indicator, a sign that Wei Ying isn't hovering on the verge of asking Lan Zhan to leave. Despite the vein that the text messages had taken, he can't help but feel nervous, as if hoping for the best will invite the worst. ]
Wei Ying.
[ He stands, still and rigid, falling back on his manners now that he's been tossed into an unfamiliar sea. He's never had romantic feelings for anyone before meeting Wei Ying, and so he's never had to deal with confessing said feelings or navigating what may or may not happen as a result. It seems like Wei Ying is also in search of an anchor of familiarity if his offering of a beverage is anything to go off of. Important conversation aside, perhaps it's worth the time for them to find their footing before they begin. ]
Tea, please. [ He knows Wei Ying keeps his favorite leaves for when he visits, feels both guilty and spoiled because of it. Wei Ying always seems pleased to show off the lengths he has gone to for his friend, and Lan Zhan is so weak when it comes to indulging him. Still, it is an escape from the true reason he's here, but he's content to watch Wei Ying putter around the kitchen for a moment while Lan Zhan once again attempts to collect his own thoughts. ]
[ Lan Zhan's presence in his tiny, shabby apartment is always a blessing. Wei Wuxian feels like it amps up the elegance and possibly the property value of the entire neighborhood. Despite the contrast, he likes having his friend there. Well, he likes Lan Zhan anywhere, but especially in his apartment, where it's usually just the two of them and their conversations or even (rarely) peaceful silence, both a comfort, and a distraction.
But now, it's strained and awkward and he doesn't know what to say. So he busies his hands with making tea, pulling out the kettle and strainer and carefully measuring tea leaves, waiting for the water to hit the right temperature. He knows this routine well enough now that it doesn't need all of his focus but it's an excuse to keep his hands busy. But eventually, the tea is steeping, a timer set and Wei Wuxian has nothing else to look at but Lan Zhan. (Not that it's a hardship; Lan Zhan is seriously beautiful.) ]
I like you. [ He blurts it out, just lays it at Lan Zhan's feet, a confession and a promise and a blundering twist of his tongue. He follows it with a groan, dropping his head to the counter. ] I wanted to maybe tell you one day, find somewhere romantic and beautiful and confess if I ever got up the courage, and instead I just. Not quite tell you in a text message and blurt it out minutes after you walk in the door.
[ Lan Zhan stands to the side, useless as he watches Wei Ying prepare the tea. His mind is a storm of thought despite his unwavering posture. How to broach the subject? How to word his confession? How to explain, in as few words as possible to avoid embarrassment, that Wei Ying is everything to him? Should he even tell him how his world orbits around this man, his one real friend, his constant companion, who he wishes would be more?
He parts his lips to speak, but Wei Ying beats him to it. His mouth hangs open for a moment before it closes in a subtle hint of a smile. When Wei Ying bows and rests his head on the counter, Lan Zhan quickly crosses the kitchen to rest a hand on his back as if to coax him to stand. ]
I like you, too. [ His fingers flex, pressing against the small of Wei Ying's back for a moment, before he considers the touch may not be welcome and withdraws. ] I never thought I would tell you, but I also imagined it would be somewhere else. A more deserving backdrop for you.
[ A small whine escapes Wei Ying when he feels Lan Zhan's hand on his back. It's a warm, comforting touch, one he's always welcomed, and it disappears far too quickly for his liking.
So he turns, making a grabbing motion at Lan Zhan and drops his head onto the broad shoulder of Lan Zhan instead of the counter. ] You're not going anywhere. [ It's part demand, part question. He couldn't handle it if Lan Zhan stepped back at the moment. ]
I don't deserve a better backdrop or anything else you're imagining in your head, Lan Zhan. [ He burrows his face in his shoulder. ] You're the one who deserves pretty places and good things. I can't believe you like me.
[ On instinct, he tenses as he's grabbed. Despite the comfort he feels in Wei Ying's presence and how he longs for his touch, he's unaccustomed to it. Touchstarved since his youth, Lan Zhan has to will himself to relax when Wei Ying surprises him with a hand on his arm or, this time, a head on his shoulder. It's a closeness that makes Lan Zhan's heart ache, though maybe not for much longer. Hopefully, the only feeling that will remain is fondness rather than pining.
He frowns as Wei Ying shares his reservations, once again degrading himself like he's so prone to doing. Raising an arm, he curls it around Wei Ying, protective as he cups his hand on the back of his head and holds him in place. ]
Wei Ying. [ He wants to ask who hurt him, but he knows. The important thing here and now in the kitchen, and for however long Wei Ying will allow Lan Zhan to be part of his life, is that no one else will be allowed to inflict the same damage. Lan Zhan will be his protector, a shield of blunt dislike for anyone who dares to harm Wei Ying. ] You deserve more than you credit yourself with. Why couldn't someone like me love someone like you?
[ Feeling Lan Zhan tense under him, Wei Ying freezes for a moment. He's always been easily affectionate, hanging off all his friends. And Lan Zhan had been fun to tease at first, but then touching him had become less a tease and more something he did with his. And then, when he'd come to realize his feelings, it had been one way to assuage his longing.
When Lan Zhan wraps an arm around him, he slides in closer, looping his arms around Lan Zhan's slim waist. He snorts into Lan Zhan's shoulder, then lifts his head to look at his crush. ] Have you seen you, Lan Zhan? And seen me?
[ He waves a vague hand around. ]
And not just what you look like, but everything. You're incredibly smart and talented and from a good family, respectful and diligent and all of that. And I'm not. [ He grins, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and it's more mocking than anything. ] I am smart, I'll give you that. But none of the rest.
[ His frown deepens, and he withdraws so that he may hold Wei Ying's face in both hands, his touch gentle as he brushes the pads of his thumbs over his cheeks. It is an intimate touch, but one that serves the purpose of ensuring that Wei Ying will have to look at his honest face as he speaks. ]
I do not know where you got such ideas about yourself, or me.
[ He swallows, tongue heavy in his mouth. He has never been good with speaking, talking more like the character from historical literature than a real human being. But that doesn't mean he isn't good with words, just that he sometimes needs a little time to translate his thoughts into concise sentences. ]
You are friendly. Funny. Kind to a fault with others. Talented. Creative. Your family loves you and each other. [ Pausing, he fights the urge to look away even as his ears burn with a blush from his yet unspoken words. ] You are beautiful, and I'm not the only one who thinks so.
[ Another pitiful sound escapes Wei Ying as Lan Zhan moves, but it's only to hold his face, so it's acceptable. His hands don't move from Lan Zhan's back; instead, he fists his hands in Lan Zhan's shirt, tightly enough that neither of them can move away.
He doesn't want to at Lan Zhan during this, but he's never been able to look away. Especially when Lan Zhan is so earnest, so intense. ]
You're not as bad at words as you think you are. [ The problem isn't Lan Zhan; the problem is other people.
Somewhere in the background, the timer for the tea goes off, but Wei Ying doesn't care, can't move away from this. He swallows, turning his head to brush a kiss against Lan Zhan's palm. ] You forget about Madam Yu. She tolerates me at best. And plenty of people agree with her. I'm a terrible influence on you.
[ He's dragged Lan Zhan out past bedtime, made him get up before dawn to watch a sunrise, and actually watch it not meditate or do yoga. ] But I like you too much to care about any of that. I want you, Lan Zhan, more than I can say.
[ He smiles down at him, the blush beginning to make its way down from his ears and over the back of his neck. Despite all the time they've spent together, he's never been this close to Wei Ying, never touched him for so long. It's intimate and unfamiliar, but it feels right.
The timer goes off, an incessant beeping, but he barely hears it. Let the clock sing and the water boil, Wei Ying's lips are pressed to his palm and Lan Zhan's the one who's heart begins to sing, blood boiling. ]
We choose our family. [ For him, it is a small one consisting of his brother and Wei Ying. ] Perhaps I needed a chaotic influence to temper the righteousness I was raised with.
[ Smiling at the confession, his stomach suddenly drops out at the reminder that he has his own, less romantic confession to offer up to Wei Ying. He slides his hands down from his face, resting against the crook of his neck where his thumbs can brush at the collar of Wei Ying's shirt. ]
[ The admission of needing chaos in his life makes Wei Ying laugh, remembering how insistent Lan Zhan had once been about needing the exact opposite. ] I'm glad you finally agree with me, now.
[ The way Lan Zhan slides his hands down, the somberness of his tone when he mentions another thing to confess has Wei Ying looking at him in confusion before slowly nodding.
They haven't moved away from each other, so he's going to count that as a win. ] What's up?
[ Lan Zhan's heart beats wildly in his chest, this time because of fear rather than unbridled love. He probably should have started with this to give Wei Ying the chance to be insulted, disgusted, or whatever other negative emotions it might inspire. He tries to remind himself that Wei Ying had been the one to jump the gun on romantic confessions, leaving Lan Zhan to scramble to catch up. ]
I bought that photograph. [ A blurted truth to match Wei Ying's only moments ago. ] I wanted to support you, and— [ He swallows thickly, nervous. ] I did not want anyone else to have an intimate picture of you.
[ It takes Wei Ying a few seconds to parse what Lan Zhan means, confusion on his face until understanding dawns. He loosens his grip on his shirt, then tightens it again, looking away while he tries to process that. ]
I'm glad. I'd rather you have it than some old pervert. [ He narrows his eyes, looking up at him. ] But you can't just up and decide to buy my things like that, or try to support me. I'm not a charity case.
[ His stomach drops when Wei Ying's hands clench and unclench, his own arms tightening when he looks away. This is what he'd worried about, why he should have started with the truth, why— ]
You are? [ Well, that's good, at least. But as Wei Ying continues, Lan Zhan feels a shameful blush replacing the pleasant one he'd worn earlier. He has a good point, and even if Lan Zhan's family is wealthy, he doesn't want to demean Wei Ying with what he perceives to be handouts. His narrowed eyes pin Lan Zhan in place, hands loosening their hold in preparation for Wei Ying to pull away and ask him to leave. ]
It was not charity, Wei Ying. Can't a friend buy beautiful art from a talented photographer?
[ Feeling Lan Zhan's hands loosen, he tightens his grip once again. They're already so close, so he can't move any closer, and he's not letting go until they work this out.
He's got the opportunity to have Lan Zhan finally, he's not going to let it go, even if this does annoy him. ] If it had just been a regular photo, not erotica, would you have purchased it? Or was it just because it was a picture my dick?
[ Lan Zhan frowns at the question, unsure what the correct answer would be. In the end, he hopes that honesty is the best policy. ] I would have purchased a regular photo, too. And—
[ When was the last time that he blushed for such a prolonged period of time? Surely, he'll faint soon from the lack of blood in his vital organs since all of it is pooling in his face. ] I hid it in the closet. It felt wrong to look at it without you knowing.
You haven't. [ Though that's mostly on Wei Ying. He's only sold a small handful of photos, and that through private commission or because someone loved one of his photos. ] You can't just... go buy everything. If it's a shitty photo, or a bad exhibit or whatever, and no one's buying, you don't just get to go and decide to buy them.
[ He knows Lan Zhan would be honest with him about his work, and tell him in no uncertain terms if something was terrible. Still, it's concerning. Part of him had feared the painting had been snatched up because he was associated with the Jiang's.
The blush on Lan Zhan's cheeks reminds him — ] Fuck. You had it all this time and I just... offered to show it to you. You're lucky I know you'd never laugh at me over something like that, or else I'd think you were laughing at me the entire time.
You have never had a gallery. [ Wei Ying is also making it clear how he feels about Lan Zhan giving him money, even if purchasing something is far from his definition of a handout.
Sighing softly, his expressions school once again, he rubs his hands against Wei Ying's back in an effort to soothe him. This is far from the picture-perfect beginning to what he hoped would become a relationship, but it feels good to air this laundry rather than hiding it until they're deeper into... whatever may come of their shared romantic interest. ]
It was far from a bad photo, Wei Ying. You are your harshest critic. [ He smiles, soft and only for Wei Ying's eyes as the expression often is. ] I only laugh with you, never at you.
[ He clenches his jaw as he thinks and finally glances down between them. ] I will return it to you if you prefer not to take my money.
[ He's gotten used to some of the wealth disparity between them, doesn't protest if Lan Zhan buys him things or picks up the tab after meals, but the idea of existing purely on the largess of someone else bothers him more than he cares to admit. ] I'll have a gallery one day and you aren't allowed to buy everything. Only one or two. At most. And you know you can ask for my photos any time you want to see them, and I'd gladly give you prints to put up.
[ He isn't going to deny that opportunity to Lan Zhan, if his friend is that determined. ] And I know that one was a good photo. Just. [ He shakes his head. ] If something is terrible, you have to tell me.
[ He breathes out, a slight huff, then shakes his head. ] No. It would be ridiculous and I have plans for that money, so you're stuck with it. [ A grin, and then: ] Just like you're stuck with me still.
[ As much as Lan Zhan wishes he could pay for everything Wei Ying needs and desires, he knows that wouldn't be a solid foundation to a relationship, romantic or otherwise. He admires Wei Ying for wanting to make his own way in the world, too, especially since there are plenty of people who would love to get close to either of the Lan brothers to benefit from their family's money. Wei Ying is different, as always. ]
Yes, Wei Ying. [ He smiles, bowing his head to show his understanding and agreement to all of Wei Ying's suggestions and restrictions. ] Often, the kindest patrons are the harshest critics.
[ His heart soars to hear confirmation of what he hadn't yet dared to ask. Despite stumbling right out of the gate, at least they can continue forward. ] Does that mean I may display it on a wall? [ He smiles, the expression uncommonly sly as he tightens his arms around Wei Ying to pull him more tightly against his chest. ]
[ He's not above taking money if he's starving, but otherwise, he wants to prove himself, and he's definitely not friends with Lan Zhan for something like his money. ]
You better be a harsh critic. I'll scold you otherwise. [ If he's capable of that. Normally it's the other way around.
Wei Ying watches that small smile form, raising an eyebrow at how downright sly Lan Zhan looks, only to have the question startle a laugh out of him. ] Only in your bedroom. I don't actually want anyone else to see it. But you can wake up to see it every morning.
[ He's obviously joking, the thought of Lan Zhan putting up that print making him chuckle. ]
I look forward to my second-ever scolding from Wei Ying. [ It is a rare occasion, after all. Today is the first time ever he feels truly cowed by Wei Ying. He has to admit that it's a bit thrilling and wonders, silently, if that's why Wei Ying is so fond of testing the patience of Lan Zhan and others.
Humming as if considering it, he tilts his head slightly to the side. ] It would be distracting. I may only leave my bed to see the real thing.
[ He means Wei Ying, but innocent as he can be, he doesn't make the connection between his words and the sexual connotation. ]
I bet you are. [ It is thrilling, although his biggest motivation for testing Lan Zhan's patience was, ultimately, to get under his skin and make him notice Wei Ying.
His eyes go comically wide when Lan Zhan says that, although he recovers quickly. They're pressed close together, and Wei Ying slides a leg between Lan Zhan's. ] Do you want to see the real thing?
[ He deliberately pitches his voice low, eyes now dark with desire. ]
[ His brows draw together when Wei Ying looks up at him with the shocked expression, but his eyes widen to match at that slip of a thigh between his own. Tensing from head to toe, his ears burn as his lips part but fail to make any sound for a moment. ]
Wei Ying. [ Voice tight, husky, he clears it after a moment. ] Do not tease me with that when I have wanted you for so long.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
for ~demonicpath
[ Of all the ways that Lan Zhan had imagined that Wei Ying might find out about his crush, a texting thread stemming from his naked photography wasn't one of them. As he hurries to put on proper clothes, he stares at the photograph in question that's leaning against the back wall of his closet—facing away, of course, so that he isn't met with the blush-inducing image of Wei Ying's dick every single time he opens the closet. He realizes that he'll need to confess that he was the mysterious buyer, and such a thought worries him. Will Wei Ying rethink his feelings for Lan Zhan if he finds out that he is the unsavory patron? Will he be offended that Lan Zhan saw it as an opportunity to simultaneously help him financially and maintain his purity, his honor?
These are questions that haunt him on the drive to Wei Ying's place. At the forefront of his mind is the very new and sudden realization that his feelings are not completely one-sided. Wei Ying's thoughts on the matter are still uncertain, but Lan Zhan couldn't continue the conversation through text messages, or even over the phone. Something of his magnitude, this importance, deserves to be handled in person. Wei Ying is worth that much, at the very least—at the most, a far more romantic confession. Lan Zhan may not look it, but he is a romantic deep down in his heart. Even without plans to admit his feelings any time in the near future, he'd always pictured it happening somewhere with beautiful scenery, or shared memories, or anything better than standing statue-still in front of Wei Ying's door, hesitant to knock because he still hasn't found the words.
Wei Ying will have words enough for the both of them, as always. He needs to be confident of that, just as he should have been confident that Wei Ying would see through him to the truth in his heart eventually. Their conversation has filled him with hope, yes, but as he knocks on the door, he can't help but feeling the nervous fluttering of wings in his stomach. ]
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It doesn't take long to clean and that's the dangerous part. It gives him an opportunity to think, fidgeting impatiently as he waits for Lan Wangji's quiet, firm knock against his door. He chews on the side of his thumbnail until it's ragged, paces the length of his tiny living room and kitchen, pulls out the kettle and the tea he keeps specifically for Lan Wangji, puts both of them back, contemplates changing out of the loose black shirt and sweats he's wearing, all while a thousand thoughts fly through his head. Thoughts about Lan Wangji, and that comment about being lonely and awkward, and about how they're going to talk.
Wei Wuxian has never been at a loss for words, but when he hears that knock, his throat goes dry and he wavers for a moment. But neither is he a coward, and this is Lan Wangji, who is too important and too kind to leave waiting, stewing in his own thoughts. So he clears his throat and yanks open the door — he hadn't been standing in front of it, except he totally had — and waves Lan Wangji inside. This is a discussion too meaningful to have at the door. ]
Lan Zhan. [ For a second he doesn't know what to say, where to even begin, and he starts off by remembering his manners for once. ] Come in. Can I get you something to drink? I still have some tea, it won't take long to boil water, or maybe just some water?
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Well, that's what he used to think, at least.
Nodding a silent greeting, he steps inside until there is space for Wei Ying to close the door behind him. It is a meaningful discussion indeed, and he's relieved to not be left standing on the threshold. That must be a good indicator, a sign that Wei Ying isn't hovering on the verge of asking Lan Zhan to leave. Despite the vein that the text messages had taken, he can't help but feel nervous, as if hoping for the best will invite the worst. ]
Wei Ying.
[ He stands, still and rigid, falling back on his manners now that he's been tossed into an unfamiliar sea. He's never had romantic feelings for anyone before meeting Wei Ying, and so he's never had to deal with confessing said feelings or navigating what may or may not happen as a result. It seems like Wei Ying is also in search of an anchor of familiarity if his offering of a beverage is anything to go off of. Important conversation aside, perhaps it's worth the time for them to find their footing before they begin. ]
Tea, please. [ He knows Wei Ying keeps his favorite leaves for when he visits, feels both guilty and spoiled because of it. Wei Ying always seems pleased to show off the lengths he has gone to for his friend, and Lan Zhan is so weak when it comes to indulging him. Still, it is an escape from the true reason he's here, but he's content to watch Wei Ying putter around the kitchen for a moment while Lan Zhan once again attempts to collect his own thoughts. ]
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But now, it's strained and awkward and he doesn't know what to say. So he busies his hands with making tea, pulling out the kettle and strainer and carefully measuring tea leaves, waiting for the water to hit the right temperature. He knows this routine well enough now that it doesn't need all of his focus but it's an excuse to keep his hands busy. But eventually, the tea is steeping, a timer set and Wei Wuxian has nothing else to look at but Lan Zhan. (Not that it's a hardship; Lan Zhan is seriously beautiful.) ]
I like you. [ He blurts it out, just lays it at Lan Zhan's feet, a confession and a promise and a blundering twist of his tongue. He follows it with a groan, dropping his head to the counter. ] I wanted to maybe tell you one day, find somewhere romantic and beautiful and confess if I ever got up the courage, and instead I just. Not quite tell you in a text message and blurt it out minutes after you walk in the door.
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He parts his lips to speak, but Wei Ying beats him to it. His mouth hangs open for a moment before it closes in a subtle hint of a smile. When Wei Ying bows and rests his head on the counter, Lan Zhan quickly crosses the kitchen to rest a hand on his back as if to coax him to stand. ]
I like you, too. [ His fingers flex, pressing against the small of Wei Ying's back for a moment, before he considers the touch may not be welcome and withdraws. ] I never thought I would tell you, but I also imagined it would be somewhere else. A more deserving backdrop for you.
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So he turns, making a grabbing motion at Lan Zhan and drops his head onto the broad shoulder of Lan Zhan instead of the counter. ] You're not going anywhere. [ It's part demand, part question. He couldn't handle it if Lan Zhan stepped back at the moment. ]
I don't deserve a better backdrop or anything else you're imagining in your head, Lan Zhan. [ He burrows his face in his shoulder. ] You're the one who deserves pretty places and good things. I can't believe you like me.
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He frowns as Wei Ying shares his reservations, once again degrading himself like he's so prone to doing. Raising an arm, he curls it around Wei Ying, protective as he cups his hand on the back of his head and holds him in place. ]
Wei Ying. [ He wants to ask who hurt him, but he knows. The important thing here and now in the kitchen, and for however long Wei Ying will allow Lan Zhan to be part of his life, is that no one else will be allowed to inflict the same damage. Lan Zhan will be his protector, a shield of blunt dislike for anyone who dares to harm Wei Ying. ] You deserve more than you credit yourself with. Why couldn't someone like me love someone like you?
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When Lan Zhan wraps an arm around him, he slides in closer, looping his arms around Lan Zhan's slim waist. He snorts into Lan Zhan's shoulder, then lifts his head to look at his crush. ] Have you seen you, Lan Zhan? And seen me?
[ He waves a vague hand around. ]
And not just what you look like, but everything. You're incredibly smart and talented and from a good family, respectful and diligent and all of that. And I'm not. [ He grins, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and it's more mocking than anything. ] I am smart, I'll give you that. But none of the rest.
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I do not know where you got such ideas about yourself, or me.
[ He swallows, tongue heavy in his mouth. He has never been good with speaking, talking more like the character from historical literature than a real human being. But that doesn't mean he isn't good with words, just that he sometimes needs a little time to translate his thoughts into concise sentences. ]
You are friendly. Funny. Kind to a fault with others. Talented. Creative. Your family loves you and each other. [ Pausing, he fights the urge to look away even as his ears burn with a blush from his yet unspoken words. ] You are beautiful, and I'm not the only one who thinks so.
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He doesn't want to at Lan Zhan during this, but he's never been able to look away. Especially when Lan Zhan is so earnest, so intense. ]
You're not as bad at words as you think you are. [ The problem isn't Lan Zhan; the problem is other people.
Somewhere in the background, the timer for the tea goes off, but Wei Ying doesn't care, can't move away from this. He swallows, turning his head to brush a kiss against Lan Zhan's palm. ] You forget about Madam Yu. She tolerates me at best. And plenty of people agree with her. I'm a terrible influence on you.
[ He's dragged Lan Zhan out past bedtime, made him get up before dawn to watch a sunrise, and actually watch it not meditate or do yoga. ] But I like you too much to care about any of that. I want you, Lan Zhan, more than I can say.
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[ He smiles down at him, the blush beginning to make its way down from his ears and over the back of his neck. Despite all the time they've spent together, he's never been this close to Wei Ying, never touched him for so long. It's intimate and unfamiliar, but it feels right.
The timer goes off, an incessant beeping, but he barely hears it. Let the clock sing and the water boil, Wei Ying's lips are pressed to his palm and Lan Zhan's the one who's heart begins to sing, blood boiling. ]
We choose our family. [ For him, it is a small one consisting of his brother and Wei Ying. ] Perhaps I needed a chaotic influence to temper the righteousness I was raised with.
[ Smiling at the confession, his stomach suddenly drops out at the reminder that he has his own, less romantic confession to offer up to Wei Ying. He slides his hands down from his face, resting against the crook of his neck where his thumbs can brush at the collar of Wei Ying's shirt. ]
Wei Ying, there is something else I must admit.
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[ The way Lan Zhan slides his hands down, the somberness of his tone when he mentions another thing to confess has Wei Ying looking at him in confusion before slowly nodding.
They haven't moved away from each other, so he's going to count that as a win. ] What's up?
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I bought that photograph. [ A blurted truth to match Wei Ying's only moments ago. ] I wanted to support you, and— [ He swallows thickly, nervous. ] I did not want anyone else to have an intimate picture of you.
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I'm glad. I'd rather you have it than some old pervert. [ He narrows his eyes, looking up at him. ] But you can't just up and decide to buy my things like that, or try to support me. I'm not a charity case.
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You are? [ Well, that's good, at least. But as Wei Ying continues, Lan Zhan feels a shameful blush replacing the pleasant one he'd worn earlier. He has a good point, and even if Lan Zhan's family is wealthy, he doesn't want to demean Wei Ying with what he perceives to be handouts. His narrowed eyes pin Lan Zhan in place, hands loosening their hold in preparation for Wei Ying to pull away and ask him to leave. ]
It was not charity, Wei Ying. Can't a friend buy beautiful art from a talented photographer?
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He's got the opportunity to have Lan Zhan finally, he's not going to let it go, even if this does annoy him. ] If it had just been a regular photo, not erotica, would you have purchased it? Or was it just because it was a picture my dick?
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[ When was the last time that he blushed for such a prolonged period of time? Surely, he'll faint soon from the lack of blood in his vital organs since all of it is pooling in his face. ] I hid it in the closet. It felt wrong to look at it without you knowing.
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[ He knows Lan Zhan would be honest with him about his work, and tell him in no uncertain terms if something was terrible. Still, it's concerning. Part of him had feared the painting had been snatched up because he was associated with the Jiang's.
The blush on Lan Zhan's cheeks reminds him — ] Fuck. You had it all this time and I just... offered to show it to you. You're lucky I know you'd never laugh at me over something like that, or else I'd think you were laughing at me the entire time.
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Sighing softly, his expressions school once again, he rubs his hands against Wei Ying's back in an effort to soothe him. This is far from the picture-perfect beginning to what he hoped would become a relationship, but it feels good to air this laundry rather than hiding it until they're deeper into... whatever may come of their shared romantic interest. ]
It was far from a bad photo, Wei Ying. You are your harshest critic. [ He smiles, soft and only for Wei Ying's eyes as the expression often is. ] I only laugh with you, never at you.
[ He clenches his jaw as he thinks and finally glances down between them. ] I will return it to you if you prefer not to take my money.
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[ He isn't going to deny that opportunity to Lan Zhan, if his friend is that determined. ] And I know that one was a good photo. Just. [ He shakes his head. ] If something is terrible, you have to tell me.
[ He breathes out, a slight huff, then shakes his head. ] No. It would be ridiculous and I have plans for that money, so you're stuck with it. [ A grin, and then: ] Just like you're stuck with me still.
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Yes, Wei Ying. [ He smiles, bowing his head to show his understanding and agreement to all of Wei Ying's suggestions and restrictions. ] Often, the kindest patrons are the harshest critics.
[ His heart soars to hear confirmation of what he hadn't yet dared to ask. Despite stumbling right out of the gate, at least they can continue forward. ] Does that mean I may display it on a wall? [ He smiles, the expression uncommonly sly as he tightens his arms around Wei Ying to pull him more tightly against his chest. ]
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You better be a harsh critic. I'll scold you otherwise. [ If he's capable of that. Normally it's the other way around.
Wei Ying watches that small smile form, raising an eyebrow at how downright sly Lan Zhan looks, only to have the question startle a laugh out of him. ] Only in your bedroom. I don't actually want anyone else to see it. But you can wake up to see it every morning.
[ He's obviously joking, the thought of Lan Zhan putting up that print making him chuckle. ]
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Humming as if considering it, he tilts his head slightly to the side. ] It would be distracting. I may only leave my bed to see the real thing.
[ He means Wei Ying, but innocent as he can be, he doesn't make the connection between his words and the sexual connotation. ]
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His eyes go comically wide when Lan Zhan says that, although he recovers quickly. They're pressed close together, and Wei Ying slides a leg between Lan Zhan's. ] Do you want to see the real thing?
[ He deliberately pitches his voice low, eyes now dark with desire. ]
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Wei Ying. [ Voice tight, husky, he clears it after a moment. ] Do not tease me with that when I have wanted you for so long.
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